


Peter's A Little Too Into The Christmas Spirit

by FictionalWorldsAreExquisite



Series: Christmas Chaos [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Chaos, Christmas, Christmas Tree, Gen, Humor, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, i'm so glad that's a tag., sort of. it's more like i'm about to disown this child., this is from bucky's POV the summary may be misleading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21730747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionalWorldsAreExquisite/pseuds/FictionalWorldsAreExquisite
Summary: Peter. Is in. The fucking Christmas tree. Tony needs help from someone who also has enhanced strength.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Christmas Chaos [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569979
Comments: 19
Kudos: 268
Collections: Peter Parker Stories, ellie marvel fics - read





	Peter's A Little Too Into The Christmas Spirit

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't actually intend to post again today, I didn't really do anything productive today and White Island decided to erupt this afternoon which, you know, is never something you want to hear so that situation isn't great. But like an hour ago I got a little idea (aka I thought of those videos with cats/kittens climbing Christmas trees and was like huh, what if PETER did that with his sticky powers) and laughed at it and got my mood back up so I had to write it. It's just small and written quickly AND I've never really written Bucky before (even though he's my favourite character skdhfsdf) so his character is probably a bit off but like, I enjoy how it played out.
> 
> pro tip: don't take this too seriously sdkfhsdf. i think the dumb summary suggested as much

“Peter is a fucking cat and I’m fucking sick of it and you’re the only other person in the tower with super strength right now so I need you to collect and restrain him immediately.” Tony rushed out as he placed himself directly in front of Bucky, who had been enjoying a nice book on the couch.

Bucky blinked at him slowly, “what?”

“Cats climb fucking Christmas trees because they’re cats, Peter does it because he’s a bastard that’s testing the strength of my god damn tree and my fucking patience,” Tony got out impatiently.

Bucky stared a little more. Again, what?

Tony took a deep breath, “God, that was mean, he’s not a bastard, I take that back, he’s just...a little shit. To the max. I need your help. Yes or no?”

“Uh...okay? What are you talking about?” He’d prefer to know exactly what the situation was and what was required of him.

“Barnes. The child is in the fucking Christmas tree and I am losing my mind. Get him. Down.” Tony spun around and headed back for the elevator, not looking behind him. Barnes quickly scrambled up to follow him, guessing if he didn’t hurry, he’d be left behind. A small part of him genuinely wanted to help the genius, the majority just wanted to know what the hell was going on.

Tony stalked into the elevator, “FRIDAY, my floor,” and turned around just as James slid in next to him. “Thank you, finally. FRIDAY, speed it up.” The doors closed and the elevator started moving up.

“So...non-lethal force?” Bucky was mostly joking. But a child in the Christmas tree seemed like abnormal behaviour and he had to be prepared for anything.

Tony turned to glare at him, “if you kill him, I’ll kill you faster than you can do your freaky assassin disappearing trick.”

Bucky put his hands up, “got it. Just extract the kid from the Christmas tree. No problem.” It sounded like a problem. He’d never been trained for _this_.

The elevator opened and Tony stormed out, heading straight for the Christmas tree in his living room, “Parker!”

Peter’s head popped out of the top of the tree, “look, Mr. Stark! I’m the angel on the top of the tree!”

“You’re a fucking nightmare is what you are. James, please.”

Bucky eyed up the tree and examined where exactly Peter was hiding in it, clearly on the far side since he was hidden when they walked in. He could cut it down at the trunk but he suspected Tony didn’t want to deal with a fallen Christmas tree in his lounge. He could place a ladder against it and climb up that way but he knew he was significantly heavier than Peter and would probably cause the tree to fall over, especially with their combined weight. Maybe he could bat at Peter with a broom until he gave in and climbed down.

All in all, he really wasn’t sure how he could help here. He could probably restrain Peter but he’d have to get to him first and that seemed impossible, without drastic measures. “Look, I don’t know how tall you think I am but I can’t just-”

Tony waltzed out of the room.

“Oh. Okay then.” Bucky squinted up at Peter.

“Hey, Tony’s kid, an angel on top of the tree sounds pretty special but did you ever consider being a present under the tree?”

Peter looked at him suspiciously, “you’re just trying to get me down.”

Bucky shrugged casually, “your loss then.” He acted like he was about to crawl under the tree, while just hoping that he’d correctly judged Peter’s personality. Peter quickly dropped in front of him, blocking his way, like his heart had just stopped and he fell accidentally.

“I’m the present.” Peter glared at him from his position under the tree, flat on his stomach.

Bucky quickly snatched him up and slung him over his shoulder in one swift movement, standing upright with Peter punching his back and complaining, mostly along the lines of ‘let me go’, each syllable emphasised with a punch.

“Huh. That was easier than expected,” Bucky mused.

It was at that moment that Tony walked back in with a stepladder only to put it down and stare at the situation Bucky was in. “How. How did you possibly catch him within a few minutes when I have been trying everything including using my actual Iron Man suit for hours?”

Bucky smirked, “tricked him. Figured it’d work a treat, and my judgement was impeccable. Anyway, Stark, what am I doing with him? He’s currently trying to punch a hole through my back and the massage is a little intense, honestly.”

“Uhhh,” Tony started like he hadn’t actually thought that they’d get this far, “go chuck him in his room and get FRIDAY to lock him in there while I figure out how to Peter-proof the tree.” 

“Sure thing, you’re welcome,” Bucky replied, fishing for a thanks or _something_.

Tony muttered something under his breath that might’ve been a ‘thank you’ but he seemed to be too busy devising a super strength-proof glass wall to surround the tree with FRIDAY to really be paying attention.

Bucky rolled his eyes and marched Peter out of the room, dumping him on his bed in the kid’s bedroom (the complaining hadn’t stopped at any point) before darting out of the room, getting FRIDAY to quickly lock the door behind him.

Stark could definitely ask Steve the next time he needed help with his weird-ass child. Even if Bucky was a _little_ amused.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope my small chaotic af story made someone smile! Have a good night! Or day. Or whatever. Happy holiday's y'all. Or happy december if you're not here for any of that.
> 
> Tumblr is fictional-worlds-are-exquisite
> 
> & sorry for any mistakes, this is just some rough fun!


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